The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen click here for info into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar