The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay see it here males especially in urban locations, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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