The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay males desire to discover from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there look here or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is see post necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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